social media anxiety.

Okay, I love social media.  It’s distracting, and time consuming, and you get to know all these personal little details about people you’ll probably never actually see again in your life.  It’s addictive.

It also turns everyone into a huge creep.  I personally hate private Instagram accounts.  Which probably goes to show you just how much of a creep I really am.  But I mean it’s harmless, in a way, I guess.  You’re just kind of interested in what other people are doing.  Which is basically the whole reason for social media anyway.  So who cares if you want to see what other people are doing that you don’t really know?  Or know at all.  Or just think are really hot, but have never talked to, or met them, but know every detail about them, and want to date them…  Does that sound really creepy?  Whatever, I know you do it too!

I hate private Instagram accounts, but at the same time some Instagram account just started following me the other day and their description was “HITLER ;)”, so I mean, I should probably rethink some things anyways.  But I just wanna see if you’re pretty/hot, why won’t your account settings let me do that?  It seems harmless but then you casually hear yourself saying, “Oh yeah, I saw that on your Instagram the other day”  And these are to people you do follow.  And then you both go through the mental recall on whether you liked the picture or not.  So you saw my post but didn’t even like it?

It’s fucking awful.  How much petty shit happens around social media.  Your friend says she can’t come to your pre because she has too much work to do.  Half an hour later this bitch is Instaing a picture of herself looking fabulous and ready to go out.  KKKKKKK…. Or your girlfriend/boyfriend likes a picture of a hot boy/girl and you don’t talk to them for the rest of the night.  Meanwhile you’re fantasizing about Megan Fox (is she even a thing anymore?) or Liam Hemsworth.  Your friend just unfollowed you?  Fuck them now, we’re not friends anymore.  Another friend doesn’t even like your Instagram when you needed that eleventh person to like your picture so it wouldn’t show the list of names anymore?  All these kinds of things happen so often and you don’t even realize that they’re all so incredibly unnecessary.

And that’s the biggest reason why social media is so awful: it fuels so much anxiety in people.  How many times have you posted a picture of yourself and started to immediately get worried that no one thinks it’s going to be a good picture?  I thought my hair looked nice in it…but only seven people have liked it in the past fifteen minutes… It’s completely masochistic; we’re torturing ourselves.  It turns every Insta-famous confident person into someone narcissistic, self-absorbed, and annoying.  Those are the people that get like 200 likes on a picture of a fucking bagel or something else equally ridiculous.  And then it completely fucks everyone else up.  Myself included.

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You get a certain amount of likes on one selfie, and your next one – which you thought was way cuter – gets way less likes.  Well, why?  Did I not show enough of my tits?  I personally don’t have that problem since I have none, but you get the idea.  What did I do wrong?  It just fuels so many unnecessary insecurities.

These insecurities become freak outs.  Internal freak outs, but still.  You freak out about how many followers you have, and who’s stopped following you.  Or whether your Instagram “about me” is fun/cute/generic enough.  Even the confident person starts feeling so unsure of themself.

And you know company’s make money off of that?  Off of people’s insecurities.  There’s actually apps where you can buy followers, and see who’s unfollowed you, or who you follow that doesn’t follow you back.  There’s so many petty things that we become so involved in when it comes to social media, and I’m totally guilty of it too.  It just sucks when you realize that our source of entertainment – the things we do that’s supposed to bring us enjoyment – fuels so many negative things.

I’ve become so brutal too.  I’ll type a caption, and then erase it and rewrite it like three different times.  Hoping to find the most humorous or cute one.  It’s a fucking caption… Like who cares…

It also sucks that I realize all of this, but know I’m going to pick up my phone in twenty minutes and scroll through my Instagram feed, and probably creep a few interesting individuals I’ve never met and laugh hysterically at every post on Fuck Jerry’s account, because as much as I hate social media, I love it and probably couldn’t go without it.

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