curly hair.

I have the curliest hair.

DSCN0523

This is a rave and a rant I guess, because I love curly hair, but I hate my own.  It’s awful.  I really hate it.  I think its because I’ve hated it ever since I was a kid.  Which could be thanks to my asian mother, who didn’t know how to handle curly hair.  I endured a childhood full of brushed out braids: braids of the pigtail, ponytail, french, and cornrow variety.  My staple hairstyle as a kid was brushed out hair in a low ponytail at the nape of my neck, and then braided.  It was not my finest hour.  I lived for the french braids.  And those really weren’t any sort of improvement.

The best day of my childhood was probably the day I got my first straightener.  It was a Conair one, and let me tell you, those first Conair straighteners were for people who already had straight hair.  After I straightened my hair with it, it basically produced the same results as me brushing my hair out…

gildaradner

I wish I was kidding when I say it more or less looked like the above picture.  But, nevertheless, it made those frizzy braids look smoother.  Even though I could still never actually wear my hair down.

My one dream as a kid was to be able to tuck my hair behind my ears.  With curly hair, it’s way too big to do that.  And I could never simply just wear my hair down.  It would unleash demons if I did.  I definitely would have gotten made fun of.

So when technology produced Chi hair straighteners,  I waited.  And then when technology produced all those no-name hair straighteners that were one hundred dollars less, and still produced the same results; my life changed.

I could finally wear my hair down.  I could finally tuck my hair behind my ears.  I could finally wake up in the morning and go to school.  My life changed.  I used that straightener everyday and never looked back.  I never wore my hair curly anymore.  Straight hair is honestly just so much easier.

It was a combination of a bunch of things that brought me to the point where I can’t ever wear my hair curly.  Nearly all my pictures in the last seven years my hair is  stick straight, or its beautifully curled; and those curls can only be achieved by straightening your hair then curling it with a wand… Double the damage, but also double the compliments.

I ditched the Conair straightener got my good one around the time I got my first curly-hair products that actually tamed my curls and allowed me to wear my hair down (or some-up, some-down to reduce the volume).  So I had curly hair about half the time.  But then I went to get my haircut at a place where they did not know how to cut curly hair.

 If I have one piece of advice:  find someone who knows how to cut curly hair.  You’re screwed if not.

One inch for straight hair, is one inch.  For curly hair it looks like six inches is gone.  It’s insane, and awful.

I got my haircut, and at least for inches was gone.  Which amounted to about twenty four when I washed my hair and saw the curly haired results.

It looked great when it was straight.  I got bangs too.  It was 2008, everyone was doing it.

As soon as I washed it my curls were above my shoulders, Annie style.  I looked like a six year old.  And this was in high school, a bad haircut could ruin your social status.  (How incredibly sad is that to say?  Especially when you realize it’s so true)

And then I began straightening my hair everyday.  And I straightened until my very slow growing hair began to come back to a normal length.  But straightening your hair everyday, damages it like no other.  So my once socially acceptable curls turned into a weird kinky mess.  Which led to more straightening…

It was a vicious cycle.

On top of that, my first boyfriend so passive-aggressively told me he liked my hair straight when I would wear my hair curly.  It’s your first boyfriend and you want to be beautiful for them.  That plus all the compliments on my straight hair led me to straightening it every day for the rest of high school.

Ditched the boyfriend, kept the hairstyle.

But now; maybe or maybe not because of the ex-boyfriend, I don’t feel attractive unless I have straight hair.  If there’s ever an event to go to, I without question make sure my hair is straight (or curled from straight hair).  Not even an event, just when I’m going out somewhere that’s been preplanned.  I need to have my hair straight.  Date night.  Bar night.  Dinner.  Movies.  First Day of School.  Thanksgiving and Christmas gatherings.  Out for Frozen Yogurt.  Basically anything with a possible photo op.

And it really is such an unhealthy thing: I can’t feel attractive with how I naturally am.

And curly hair and days I’m wearing glasses.  FORGET ABOUT IT.  I’m automatically not leaving my house.

I’m not even going to breach the subject of no make-up and curly hair, and glasses.

Anyway, so now I’m at the point where buns and braids are unfortunately making a comeback with my personal hairstyles because I don’t want to damage my hair anymore, and my curls just aren’t what they used to be.  Also all my curly hair products are just not working out for me… Any curly haired girls reading this with any advice?

And I don’t even hate curly hair.  I actually think it’s beautiful.  Some girls look like rockets with curly hair.  I just hate my curly hair.  I don’t have that crazy, long, untamed, beautiful mess.  Examples:

large (1) 30c191fb6d2bfff9958269c181e077f7 Best-Naturally-Curly-HairStyle-for-Long-Hair

Whoever you people are with naturally curly hair  that showed up on Google:  I love your curly hair, and wish I had it.  Instead mine inevitably frizz and puff-out and never part right…

But I’m embarking on the road to natural beauty and curls worthy of being google imaged and going to try not to straighten my hair, and rock it curly.

But I’m writing this as I’m letting my hair dry and 1) I feel it frizzing up 2) I just cut my hair recently and it seems terrifyingly short 3) I can already feel it getting big and 4) It’s still a little damp, and I know when I wake up in the morning I’m going to either have it in a bun or straighten most of it.

Also, anyone else who knows the curly hair struggle, this is the perfect depiction of every curly haired girl’s childhood.  The truest curly-haired article I’ve ever come across:

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a6129/emotional-stages-curly-hair/

One day all us curly-haired girls will look as flawless as Beyonce.  (Even though I think the other girls’ hair is nicer than Beyonce’s natural hair)

beyonce-knowles-6

But we’ll be able to achieve real curly haired perfection, even better than her fake curls

custom-beyonce-wavy-human-hair-lace-wig-wavy-wc015But damn, her hair looks pretty fucking good there.

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