“emotionally unavailable”

Why is he snapping his fingers?

His gait is so girly.

Those jeans are way too short.

Is he seriously wearing a scarf right now?

He’s so skinny…

He can’t win.  He can’t do anything right.  Because, of course, he’s way too skinny (not that it actually stops me from undressing him) – but then again the last partner was a little too big.

The last one was a fashion disaster.  He cares too much about his clothes.

He’s the exact opposite of the last relationship, and yet I’m finding myself equally unhappy.

Is it horrible that they act as a source of entertainment?  And it’s still under debate whether it’s anything more.

I love unabashedly.  My relationships (which are far and in between) are so full of love, laughter, and happiness.  Except of course, when they’re sad, and anger-inducing, and aggravating – as all of them are at times.  I’ll hold your hand, and kiss your face, and touch you at every moment of every day.  Don’t part from me.  I want you, always.

The problem is, there are many dates.  Many dates with the same person, for extended periods of time.  Those aren’t relationships.  Except they are, in the eyes of “my significant other,” but seriously, God Forbid I ever call them that.

You can date people for months, half a year, perhaps more, and not fall in love with them – can’t you?

Is it evil to continue a relationship – and I do mean relationship, not relationship – with a person you don’t love and know that you likely never will?  Maybe that sounds bad… This is not to say that you have no feelings for them.  You enjoy their time, you like snuggling up to them, staying in bed until four in the morning and chatting about culture, and sexuality, food, childhoods; but when you wake up and you part from them, so do your thoughts about them.  That shouldn’t happen.  And if it does, should it be anything more than casual?

The tricky thing is that lines become blurred.  Because even if one person feels that way, and their mindset stays casual, comfortability comes into play.  Yes, I only like you a six out of ten, but I like snuggling with a man – irrelevant of whom – ten out of ten.

Is this not the mentality of men?  They have this exact thought process: I’m not gonna fall in love with you, but you’re fun to hang out with, and you can sleep in my bed for the night.  But if someone else in three weeks pays particular attention to me, I’m going to pursue it.  Sure, it sucks, if you’re the girl that he no longer wants to spend time with – that I can wholeheartedly agree on.  But women need to understand that they have the power to do the exact same thing.




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